We are fast approaching the period of the year, which is full of motivated people in the gym, when all self-help and self-improvement books get sold out, and everyone suddenly wants to face the challenges they've been running away from for years. The air is heavy with the enticing feeling of new goals and new beginnings. Surprising? I don't think so. However, have you ever wondered why by the end of February even the most motivated yield and dive back into their comfort zone?
The statistics show that only 16 percent of the people who make New Year's resolutions achieve them.
So, what the hell is wrong with the other 84% (of us) then?
Well…Nothing!
When you think deeper about the process, behind creating New Year's resolutions, it may occur to you that this outcome is actually normal. For example, most of the goals people set are totally unrealistic. The New Year’s atmosphere is often so euphoric and overwhelming that we might lose ourselves in the mix of emotions. It can be really hard to put mind and heart into creating goals, whilst being objective and reasonable. So, instead of doing that, people either set unrealistic and gigantic ones or minor and boring goals.
Both of these are doomed to fail!
To sit down and spend time evaluating your life for a while. Sometimes this can even take days or weeks but if you lack a clear perspective of where you are and what you desire in life, you'll probably write down the basic, borrowed statements such as:
“I want to make more money.”, “I want to be fit”, etc.
Do the things you have written down or set in your mind even motivate you?
Do you stop and say to yourself: “God, I can do this, I want to do this!”?
Don't compromise on this. Don't lie to yourself about what you truly desire.
Another important thing is the plan!
When setting aims, very few really think about the path to their realisation. Instead, you push your limits in January, then you call it quits in February. There is no stability, or clear vision. The lack of step-by-stepplan is such a seemingly small aspect that people often underestimate it. Ifyou set for yourself those tiny steps in between where you are today and whereyou are going, you will see the progress and won't lose focus in the long run.
For some reason, we all have ingrained in our minds that 01st January is THE DAY for new beginnings. You wake up, you are a new person and all mistakes and problems are left in the past. So naïve and even a tad stupid, don't you think?
Sometimes we don't need goals, plans and motivation.
Sometimes we need to HEAL and reflect on how far we've come.
You can't start building a new begining if you haven't made peace with the past. One of the most common mistakes we make is forgetting that accomplishing our goals requires change. A change in our mindset and behaviour. It can be a slow and comforting process where you take enough time to shed the self-doubt and regrets. It doesn't need to be a battle against your will.
So, you are not a looser if you decide not to create New Year's resolutions this year. You are most likely a winner, but you might not be realising it yet. Don't push yourself to keep up with people's superficial high goals and unrealistic expectations. Find your own pace and have the courage to stick with it.
And if you still want to write those New Year's resolutions, do it the right way - your way!
Viktoria Vechernikova
Creative Writer for ILC International