A High Performer's Dilemma: Saying “Yes” and The Illusion of Unlimited Capacity

July 30, 2024

Waking up and setting daily goals is a common routine for many, a seemingly simple habit to stay organized and productive. But what happens when this practice morphs into an overwhelming cycle, where completing every task, managing all deadlines, and attending every meeting becomes physically impossible?

For highperformers, this scenario is all too familiar. They say "yes" to a lot, always strive for more, and perpetually aim higher. While the ability to juggle numerous tasks may appear commendable at first glance, it prompts a critical question upon closer inspection: How effectively can you truly dedicate yourself to any of these tasks?

 

Understanding Your Limits

 

Believe it or not, you can’t do the work of three people in one day. As mere mortals, we all have limits. Studies show that multitasking can reduce productivity by 40%. You might think, “I’ll work 14 hours today and get everything done,” but the reality is that your optimal capacity is closer to 8-10 hours. Consistently pushing beyond this threshold leads to diminished returns, increased stress,and declining mental health.

 

In the long run, your performance suffers because you’re spreading yourself too thin. Stress levels skyrocket, and mental health deteriorates. Ironically, you'll likely blame poor time-management skills for your struggles. Over time, it becomes clear that the issue is not your ability to manage time but simply the lack of it.

 

Highperformers are known for their rapid pace of life. They are constantly doing, thinking, and planning. Efficiency and ambition are key aspects of their lifestyle. However, if these qualities are not directed wisely, they can backfire and hinder development.

 

Let's dive into the psychological background of this way of life...

 

Why Do High Performers Say "Yes" to Too Many Things?

 

From our experience with high achievers, several reasons stand out* easily:

 

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) on Opportunities and Possibilities for Development


The root of it is in the belief that one must say “Yes” to a lot in life in order not only to succeed but to gain experiences and ultimately become the best version of oneself.

High performers often ponder questions such as: "What if this helps me excel in my career even further?" whenever a new opportunity arises. They also may worry, "What if I neglect it and regret it later?" Such dilemmas can lead to significant accomplishments or substantial time loss.

A high performer doesn’t want to choose the easy way and adding another item to their responsibilities and tasks is in line with the very identity they have created for themselves. That is why saying“no” is much more complex than it seems.

 

Desireto Prove Oneself


The root of it is often found in the belief that life’s purpose is in learningand developing by testing our limits and overcoming great obstacles to leave amark.

This desire is less about impressing others and more about personal validation. High performers set high expectations not only for their colleagues but especially for themselves. Each new opportunity is seen as another chance to test and surpass their limits.

 

• External Pressures from Peers, Superiors,and Social Norms

 

"It's a jungle out there. The competition is fierce, and I have to be on top." Keeping up with the pace of your colleagues and the industry creates constant pressure. If others are managing multiple projects simultaneously, why shouldn’t you?

The relentless pressure to excel in every aspect of life — family, work, social connections, appearance—forces high performers to spread themselves thin, trying to be present in many places all at once.

 

*Note: This discussion focuses on the common reasons high performers overcommit, aiming to simplify and explain them to offer practical solutions, rather than delving into the deeper psychological roots.

 

The Real-Life Impact of Overcommitment: Jane’s Story

While we often find ourselves addicted to "being busy" all the time, this pace of life soon has a snowball effect. We’ve had numerous clients who experienced exactly that.

One such example is Jane (a pseudonym for a real client we worked with at the beginningof 2024). Jane is an exceptional professional with deep expertise in her industry. At that time, she was managing various stakeholders, attending numerous daily meetings, onboarding new team members, navigating challenging corporate dynamics, dealing with a shift in C-level management, and balancing a significant personal commitment—planning for a family. Like many high performers, Jane was focused on one question: What can I do better to navigate everything even more successfully and feel happy with my life?

She wanted to improve. Perhaps communicate better or faster? Be even more assertive? Or maybe develop a new routine to manage time more effectively? That’s where her thoughts were, taking all the responsibility and trying to find ways to single handedly do more.

In reality, Jane wasn’t struggling with management but rather feeling increasingly depleted of meaning, leading to a lack of enthusiasm. Despite everything going relatively well, she experienced a deep longing for a once-known sense of motivation and purpose.

What was happening?

For years, Jane was on the “being busy train,” fueled by the adrenaline of doing a lot and succeeding across the board. This norm was endorsed by her peers in an industry that expected it. Being busy has its benefits, but when the novelty wears off and we realize it's a cycle rather than a path, with an ever-moving end goal, we start to experience an internal contradiction and struggle. The adrenaline diminishes, and we are left with reality.

What do I do now? What’s the meaning of it all? Why do it?

The answers lie in a combination of deep, honest introspection and practical tools that help build a new kind of life.

In Jane’s case, she introduced new strategies into her week, allowing her space and time to ponder, think strategically, and nourish her creative mind. She identified certain beliefs and thoughts about herself that were suboptimal and no longer served her. We worked towards gently reframing or simply questioning them. Jane also used coaching sessions to validate her emotions and feelings with an impartial professional, checking if she was “wrong” to feel the way she did. Finally, as a high performer, she opted for only three deep sessions before moving into practice—applying all she had learned in her life.

Practical Tips for High Performers Like Jane

If you,like Jane and many others, are a “yes” person with too many spinning plates,good intentions, and limited time, here are three things that may help you geton a different and better-feeling track:

1.   Deliberate, Strategic Prioritization:

·       Tool: The Eisenhower Matrix

·       How to Use It: This matrix helps you prioritize tasks by urgency and importance, providing clarity on what to delegate and what to focus on. Draw a two-by-two grid with "Urgent" and "Not Urgent" on one axis, and "Important" and "Not Important" on the other. Assign your tasks to the appropriate quadrant. Focus on tasks that are both urgent and important, delegate those that are urgent but not important, schedule those that are important but not urgent, and eliminate tasks that are neither.

·       Benefit: This tool clarifies your priorities and helps you allocate your time and energy more effectively, preventing burnout.

2.   Honest and Challenging Focus on What Really Matters:

·       Tool: The Pareto Principle (80/20 Rule)

·       How to Use It: Identify the 20% of tasks that yield 80% of the results. Write down each step needed to achieve your goals, then determine which steps are most critical. Schedule time slots for concentrated work on these high-impact tasks and avoid distractions from less important tasks.

·       Benefit: By focusing on the vital few tasks that make the most significant impact, you maximize efficiency and effectiveness without overcommitting.

3.   Personal Development Across Emotions and Actions:

·       Tool: High-Quality Coaching

·       How to Use It: Engage in coaching to explore the reasons behind your compulsion to say “yes” to every opportunity. A coach can help you understand whether your drive is rooted in ambition, fear of missin gout, or a desire to please others. Through this process, you can identify your real priorities and learn to let go of those that aren’t essential.

·       Benefit: Coaching offers personalized guidance and support, helping you achieve long-term balance and success by aligning your actions with your true goals and values.

 

By incorporating these strategies, you can navigate your high-paced life more effectively, preserving your well-being while achieving your goals.

Conclusion: Reflect and Rebalance

If you've reached the end of this article, it's likely because you're a high-performer with too much on your plate. We invite you, dear high-performer, to take amoment to reflect on your lifestyle. Are you constantly tired and overwhelmed by your schedule? Is this burden affecting the quality of your work? Are you genuinely devoted to the projects you manage, or do you find yourself questioning their purpose?

 

Be honest with yourself. Maybe you're afraid of failing to meet the expectations of those around you. Perhaps you have a strong desire to help others, or your loyalty prevents you from letting go. These feelings are completely understandable. As a high performer, you are hardworking, resilient, and ambitious—qualities thatdrive you to achieve more and push your limits. It's natural to view having your finger in many pies as a sign of growth and development.

 

However, it's crucial to recognize when your commitments start pulling you down instead of lifting you up. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your well-being. Invest your time wisely and understand that to accomplish great things, you sometimes need to let go of some good things. By doing so, you'll create space for meaningful achievements and maintain the balance necessary for sustained success and fulfilment.

 

Love and respect,

ILC International

 

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